Tony Stark Hates Doing Chores Alone
by zombified419
Summary: Steve usually handled a lot of the domestic things for the team - cooking, cleaning, shopping. But when he's simply too swamped to do it all, Captain doesn't mind asking for help. When Tony agrees, he knows this isn't really something he should do alone...good thing a certain Norse god gets dragged into it. [FrostIron] (Established relationship, stupid fluffy domestics)


_**HUD: Just a little ditty that hit me today at the store. I hope you all enjoy it.**_

_**Warning: Stupidly ridiculous fluff. May cause cavities.**_

_**Dedicated to my dear Shi-Toyu. :) Only the best of surprises.**_

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><p>"Is this <em>wise<em>?" Loki asked as he pushed his dark sunglasses further up his nose. "To be out in public, I mean."

"Huh, why?" Tony countered, looking over his steering wheel for a parking spot. "Oh _hell_ yes. That front spot is mine, bitches." He smirked and spun the wheel. Loki rolled his eyes beside him, expression lost behind his shades. "I can _hear_ you rolling your eyes."

"That is certainly a new _talent_," the god drawled. "How surprising."

"I'm surprised _you're_ surprised," Tony smirked. "Oh yeah, not another car for _miles_. This is mine - _what the fuck!?_"

A red Cadillac blew by Tony and Loki, whipping around and snatching Tony's spot. The billionaire sat back, jaw slack, as Loki's hand flew to his mouth to stifle his chuckles. "I can't believe this...are you _laughing_?"

"Absolutely _not_," Loki said, clearing his throat. "I am..._appalled_."

"Uh, seriously? I _heard_ you!" Tony snapped. He held his hand out over his dash, waving it slightly. "That dude just fucking _cut_ me off, _stole_ my spot, and all you can do is _laugh_?"

"...you amuse me, Anthony," Loki answered. He allowed his shades to slide slightly down his nose as he raised an eyebrow at his lover. "There is another parking square a row down - merely park there so we may continue on."

Tony huffed. "_Fine!_" He let off the brake slightly, causing the Camaro to roll on. "Stupid fucking _hipsters_ - rude as _hell_." Loki patted Tony's knee affectionately, pulling Tony's rant down to a mere grumble. The engineer stopped at the stop sign and waited for a few cars and pedestrians to pass. His eyes focused on the man who had exited the Cadillac, crossing the white lines with his phone glued to the side of his face.

"I'm watching you, _bud_..." Tony grumbled. He pulled out and turned down the next lane. Tony parked in the spot Loki had seen, but he wasn't happy.

"Anthony, it is merely two down - "

"Doesn't matter," Tony growled. He unbuckled his seatbelt and whipped the strap back. "It's the _principle_."

"Oh, _certainly_," Loki drawled. He had an immense reserve of patience due to his vast age. Tony always seemed to have a knack for testing it, though. "Attempt to ignore, otherwise our guise may be discovered."

"...I know," Tony grumbled. He looked over at Loki and sighed before offering a smile. "You look hot."

Loki's deep chuckle reverberated in Tony's own chest, causing the engineer's smile to grow. "My thanks, Anthony. You are quite handsome as well."

"That's just because _you're_ with me," Tony grinned, leaning over the centre console to press a sloppy kiss to the corner of Loki's mouth. The god chuckled again, placing a hand on Tony's chest to push him away.

"Enough, Anthony." Loki's grin grew, causing Tony's heart to beat just a little faster. "There are eyes everywhere. You do not exactly keep a _low_ profile."

He was right. Tony had picked his calmest sports car, but it was still the latest in the line of the Camaro. All sleek curves and black paint, trimmed in thin red pinstripes down the side with matching shocks beneath the tires. Hardly incognito.

"So? Let 'em stare," Tony growled, grabbing Loki's hands and pulling him forward. He pressed his lips to Loki's smiling ones in a chaste kiss. Loki's chuckles prevented the kiss from deepening, so Tony ran his tongue along Loki's teeth until the god shoved him away.

"Dammit, Anthony!" Loki chuckled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "_You_ were the one who wanted to - "

"Changed my mind," Tony said. He grabbed Loki's hand again and kissed the back of it. "This is going to be fun."

"If you insist," Loki answered, tapping Tony's chin with his thumb. "Come along, then." He opened his side of the car and climbed out. Tony honestly didn't care if anyone saw them - he picked the low Camaro just so he could watch Loki climb out with those long legs. He paused a moment until the door closing shook him free, urging him to pull his key out and follow suit.

Loki was leaning against the back of the car, hands shoved into his peacoat pockets. Tony shut his door slowly, just watching. The wind stirred Loki's long hair as he pulled his emerald scarf (a gift from Tony) higher under his chin. Tony loved buying Loki clothing - he had the figure of a European male model, all legs and toned muscle. Those dark jeans looked fantastic on him, and the black peacoat (also a Tony gift) stopped mid thigh and showed off his trim waist beautifully.

Tony felt like he may have been underdressed in his own dark jeans and leather jacket, but he had far too much on his mind. Tony was changing his title. Loki was no longer the God of Mischief - Tony would forever know him as the God of Tall-Dark-and-Fuck-Me-_Please_. Done and _done_.

"Done ogling?" Loki teased, smirking over his shoulder. The sky was a winter grey behind him, drawing out the emerald in his eyes even through his sunglasses. Tony smirked back.

"For a few minutes, yeah," he said, locking the car and dropping his keys into his pocket. Tony strolled up beside Loki and cocked his elbow out. "Wanna be my date?"

"Do I have a choice?

"Not really - I already bought you the corsage."

"Then in we shall go," Loki answered, pushing his shades back up and hooking their arms together. Tony just grinned - even _he_ was surprised he had managed to get Loki to agree to this - and led them though the crowded parking lot and into the automatic doors of _Ralph's_, the only grocery store good enough for the Avengers to shop at.

Tony dropped Loki's arm and grabbed a cart. "So, you have that list, right?"

Loki snapped his fingers as he folded his sunglasses into the collar of his scarf. "Here, my dear," the god answered, offering the piece of parchment still steaming with soft emerald smoke.

"Awesome, thanks," Tony answered as he took it. "I told Steve I'd do this the one time, but he's fucking making the _list_."

"It is quite long," Loki commented, looking over Tony's shoulder. Tony huffed, pushing the cart slowly as he leaned over the handle.

"Ugh, this is going to take _forever_," he groaned, putting his Aviators on the top of his head. "I'm so _glad_ you're with me."

"To aide in speed, I assume?" Loki asked. Tony shook his head.

"No, so I don't die of _boredom_!" Loki chuckled, dropping his hand to the middle of Tony's shoulder blades.

"Then we shall make haste," Loki said, plucking the list back. "We shall start on the first row and walk down each."

So Loki stepped forward, leading the way with a grumbling Tony pushing the cart behind them. They began with the bread isle. Loki pointed out three loaves of bread - one white, one honey wheat, and the last Italian - as well as a package of hamburger buns.

"_Jesus_, why do we need so much fucking _bread_?" Tony snapped, tossing the loaves in the top of the buggy.

"The Italian is for Birdbrain and Dr. Banner, white it for Captain and Miss Romanov, and the honey wheat is for us. Captain wishes to make hamburgers...whatever _that_ may be," Loki muttered, flicking his index finger. With each swipe, an item fell from the list. Tony found himself distracted as the words literally _fell_, fluttering around Loki's knees in soft emerald swirls as the letters faded beneath his boots.

"Clint always struck me as a PB&J kinda guy," Tony commented when Loki added strawberry jelly and crunchy peanut butter to the cart.

"That is actually for Miss Romanov," Loki answered, swiping the items away.

"How do you know?" Tony asked. Loki dropped in a cute honey bear.

"Captain was kind enough to mark each item with a letter." He held the list over. Tony skimmed, noting all the small letters with a smirk.

"I had no idea Brucey-bear was a fan of mallomars!" Tony chuckled. Loki snapped his fingers, causing the honey with an 'L' beside it to fall away. "I fucking _love_ your magic. _Sometimes_."

Loki snatched the sheet back and flicked Tony's ear. "Come along, now. No distractions."

The next aisle was condiments. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles, and BBQ sauce entered the cart. Loki rolled his eyes when Tony added a small jar of olives.

"Not on the list," he muttered.

"So? I'm kinda hungry," he said, screwing off the lid. He sucked out the pimiento before popping the actual olive in his mouth. "It's a bad idea to grocery shop while hungry."

"Yes, well, it is a bad idea to go grocery shopping with an _attempted_ _secret_ lover."

"It's only bad if someone _recognizes_ us," Tony scoffed. Loki simply raised an eyebrow.

"We have been - several times now, _actually_," Loki drawled, adding a box of his favourite tea to the cart. "In fact, someone is attempting to take a picture as we speak."

Tony smirked, scratching his goatee. "Yeah? Let's give 'em something to look at, then." He grabbed Loki's hand as the god leaned back from the cart, pulling him closer. Loki controlled his expression, face emotionless, but Tony saw the clear dance of mischief in his bright eyes. Tony continued to smirk as he pressed their lips together.

It wasn't really all that much of a kiss - Loki _actually_ kept his lips pressed together no matter how hard Tony tired - but Tony's stomach still flipped. Even the soft kisses Loki would drop to his forehead as he read to him in bed twisted his gut in the best possible ways. Regardless, the small gathering of people that had been trailing them through the aisles paused and went incredibly quiet.

Tony began to smirk again against Loki's lips, and the god's expression became similar. He pulled away first, lips slightly curved but eyes betraying his full emotion. Tony loved that look, even now after being together for over two years. Full of affection with still that touch of insanity that even playing domestic with Tony (meaning no blown up buildings) couldn't quite eradicate. Purely _Loki_.

"Something for them to mule over, yes?" Loki whispered, leaning the last few inches away. Tony felt his breath go with him, but he wasn't complaining.

"And totally something to continue, too," Tony answered. He fluffed Loki's scarf up before smacking him lightly on the ass. "Carry on, sexy!" They turned the corner, leaving behind a slightly larger crowd than before.

The rest of the shopping was fairly tame. Loki continued to point out things to Tony and mark the list as Tony moved the items Loki called out to the buggy. He grew bored rather quickly when the once interested crowd dispersed, no longer following the couple. Once they reached the frozen food, Tony was twitching.

"Are we _done_ yet?" He groaned. Loki sighed, pulling out two bags of frozen goods.

"Quite nearly, Anthony. Not much has changed in the pass thirty _seconds_, love," Loki sighed again as he added the bags to the cart. Tony groaned louder, resting his chin on the handle.

"I'm _bored_."

"Entertain yourself. You can be good at that."

"But I'm _pretty sure_ I can't blow this place up."

"Is that _all_ that requires your attention?" Loki said, opening another cooler door.

"Well, we can't really _bone_ here, either." Tony pointedly ignored Loki's glare. "So, _yeah_."

"Another ten minutes, then you shall pay and that will be the last," Loki answered. He moved a few doors down, ignoring another of Tony's groans. Tony drummed his fingers on the handle, staring at the curve of Loki's ass under the end of that stupid sexy peacoat. He rolled the cart back and forth with his foot, leaning out with the cart each time. The closer he moved, the closer Loki's delicious ass came.

"Enough, Anthony," Loki drawled, straightening up from the cooler. Tony stood up straight again, acting as if nothing happened. Loki dropped the ice cream and frozen french fries bag into the cart. "One more thing, then we are done."

"Fine," Tony groaned. Loki smirked, leaning a few inches over to kiss Tony's cheek.

"It could be far _worse_, Anthony," Loki muttered. "You could be alone, gathering supplies by yourself."

"Oh god that would be _horrible_!" Tony crooned.

"I know, darling," he answered. Tony loved his voice - when it was just the two of them, Loki spoke softly. Tony used to have to strain, but after two years he could hear Loki as clear as day. If anything, he only hung on every word even _more_.

Loki walked further down the aisle, leaving Tony closer to the beginning. He paused and stared at the doors. Tony huffed again before continuing to roll the cart with his foot. The harder he pushed, the further the cart rolled. It became almost an afterthought, until an idea struck him. Tony began to grin as he took a few steps back before breaking into a jog. He jumped up onto the cart and glided smoothly towards Loki.

"Hey, Lokes!"

"_Hmm_?" Loki leaned back just in time to have Tony glide by and steal a kiss. The god couldn't help his gasp of surprise, chuckling as he turned to watch Tony continue on. The engineer grinned and dropped his feet down, slowing the cart as he reached the end of the aisle. Tony tossed a smirk over his shoulder, turning back only when he felt the cart come to a rather abrupt halt.

"What the _hell_, man?" Tony frowned, looking forward. "Who the hell rides a cart around a _grocery store_?"

"_Seriously_? Who the hell _steals_ parking spots when someone else is _obviously_ about to park there?" Tony snapped. The other man scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"So _you_ were the black Camaro? Hey, if you're gonna have a car like that, learn to _drive_ it," he said. "But that looks more up your alley anyway - you're pretty _old_, yeah?"

"Still young enough to beat _your_ ass, _fuckface_," Tony growled. The man laughed, actually holding his stomach. He was obviously wealthy, if his car and clothing were anything to go by, but Tony was certain he had _nothing_ on him. Did he even _know_ who he was talking to?

"Empty threats from an old _geezer_," the man grinned. Tony wanted nothing more than to punch it off.

"_Anthony_." Loki's voice pulled Tony's attention slightly, but also all of the dumbass's attention entirely. As if Tony wasn't _already_ pissed that he had stolen his parking spot - now he was staring at Loki like he was a piece of meat.

The god strolled up smoothly, eyes narrowing at the stranger. He dropped two bags of frozen cake pops into the cart and frowned. "May we be of assistance?" He asked, tone dripping with disdain.

"Is this old guy your _sugar daddy_, beautiful?" He asked smugly. Tony's eyebrows shot to his hairline. Sure this asshole was in his twenties, but did he really look _that_ old? "I bet I can match whatever he's shelling out, plus _more_."

"If that is your _horrid_ attempt at a pick up line, I do suggest you attempt on another _less intelligent creature_," Loki snapped. He wrapped an arm protectively around Tony's waist, taking over the cart with the genius trapped between. "We are on a time crunch, and you are absolutely _not_ worth a minute of it."

The stranger's jaw dropped; Loki ignored him, spinning the cart in the other direction. "H-hey! We aren't done here."

"We most certainly _are_," Loki called, keeping one hand on the cart and the other around Tony. "I do suggest you move along now, before I rethink my mercy."

Whatever the man said Tony ignored, instead focusing on Loki. "_Damn_, Lo'."

"Yes, the _nerve_ of that oaf," Loki snapped. His grip tightened on the cart. "Were you not here, that certainly would have ended differently."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh he would most certainly be _dead_," Loki muttered. He directed them towards the front of the store, occasionally looking around for a glimpse of the other man should he return.

"That's...pretty fucking _hot_," Tony drawled, pressing his lips to the soft junction of Loki's jaw and neck. The god huffed through his nose, tilting toward the touch. "I like you coming to my rescue."

"I could not very well let that _continue_," Loki answered, wheeling them up to a short line. "He was challenging your honour, and he is so _insignificant_ that it was simply a waste of time."

"It was still _hot_," Tony breathed, grinning against Loki's neck. The god smirked, gently pushing Tony aside as he began to unload the cart.

"Help me, Anthony. The sooner this is over, the sooner we are back to far more..._interesting_ things," Loki muttered, smiling slightly. Tony smirked - he knew Loki's tells better than his own, and he could see how there was still a slight tense in his shoulders and posture. The god was _furious_.

The cashier was an adorable teenage girl with braces and bright eyes. She kept up a chatty conversation, to which Tony was happy to feed. Loki moved to the bags, loading the buggy back with Tony. He was silent, so Tony attempted to keep the conversation focused on him. Within five minutes, everything was loaded and paid for and the two were heading back into the winter air.

Tony pushed the cart out, not bothering to check both ways. "Steve had better be fucking _grateful_ for this shit - "

"_Dammit_, old man! Watch where you're _going_!" Tony stepped back, shaking his head. The red Cadillac slid up beside him, window down and the owner smirking.

"Seriously, _dude_? Take that car your _dad_ paid for and get the _fuck_ out of here," Tony growled, angling the cart to move around. The Cadillac rolled back, cutting Tony off.

"Who asked _you_, geezer?" He sneered. Tony committed the man's features to memory - blue eyes, bright blond hair, and the biggest fucking '_Come punch me!_' smirk Tony had ever seen. Oh, wherever this man worked, Tony Stark would make sure it was _temporary_ after today.

Tony opened his mouth to respond when Loki's hand slammed down on the car window. "_Enough_." Tony turned slowly as the stranger's eyes widened.

"Well, what're _you_ gonna do?" He stammered.

"I suggest you continue on your way, _cretin_," Loki growled, leaning into the car window. "Obviously you have no idea who we _are_, so I shall spare your life with the promise of less kindness should we meet _again_."

"Who the fuck do you _think_ you are?" He snapped. Loki smirked.

"This is Tony Stark, also known to your planet as Iron Man," Loki seethed, fingers clenching on the door frame. "I am Loki Laufeyson, and I am _not_ in the forgiving mood. I suggest you continue on your way, _mortal_."

The man gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Tony fought back his grin, even as cars gathered around them and horns began to echo. When the man still wouldn't move, Loki snapped his fingers and a dagger landed in his palm. "Come along, Anthony," Loki muttered, standing up straight as he pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. "This is a _poor_ use of our _time_."

As Loki walked towards the back of the car to meet up with Tony, he stabbed the dagger into the side of the car body and drug it with each step. The sound of metal screeching against metal was music to Tony's ears the closer Loki came. When he reached the tail light, the car shifted into park and finished the job for him.

They walked back to Tony's Camaro; Loki made it a point to face their direction, ignoring the man's anguished cries behind them. Tony stole a look over his shoulder, finally failing to hide his grin - the _Idiot of Ralph's_ had gotten out of his car and was now on his knees, hands glued to the mangled body. Tony was pretty sure he was crying, too.

Tony snickered to himself as he popped the trunk. Loki helped him load the groceries in silence. Tony left to return the cart, and when he came back Loki was just dropping the lid. "Hey, ready to go home?" He asked, standing beside the god.

Loki didn't answer, instead turning his sharp gaze from the crying man in the distance to Tony. Were he any other person, Tony Stark was pretty sure that look would _kill_ him. But he was Tony Stark, and instead that look meant only one other thing.

"Babe?" Loki grabbed his shoulders, shoving him roughly against the side of the car. Tony wasn't surprised, only reacting in time to make the manhandling not painful. Loki never intended to hurt him, but when his temper got the better of him, things became a little tougher.

Tony opened his mouth to ask again but was cut off by Loki. He easily dominated with a searing kiss, effectively cutting off whatever it was Tony had begun to say. The billionaire couldn't help his moan as he brought his hands up to bury them in Loki's scarf. Their sunglasses clacked together as Loki moved, but Tony didn't mind - he was already on his fifth pair for the year because of Loki's impromptu assaults and what's one more pair when Loki did that _thing_ with his _tongue_? Tony moaned again. Loki's pace was far too frenzied to keep up with, so the genius simply had to stick around for the ride.

"You are _not_..." Loki muttered, pressing his lips down Tony's neck.

"Speak up, babe," Tony panted. "I have like..._no blood_ in my brain right now."

"You are _not_ old or useless, nor do you _appear_ to be," Loki hissed, grabbing Tony's chin and holding his gaze. "That man was a blithering _fool_, and were I not to disappoint you he would be long gone from this world."

Tony blinked, attempting to clear his fogged brain. Loki was always too good at that. "_Uh_..." Loki's eyes were wide and sharp, irises swirling and crackling with unreleased frustration. Tony always thought it was interesting to watch his lover's eyes. Even when he was trying to hide so much, Tony could always see through.

"Aww, Loki," Tony began again, grinning. "Did you say you didn't kill him because of _me_?"

"...I did," Loki answered. His grip on Tony's chin lessened. "You are far too important to lose over anger."

"And here I thought I couldn't love you _more_," Tony teased, pressing a soft kiss to Loki's lips. "How about we head out? Maybe we can talk about it more at home, maybe in _bed_?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows, and some of Loki's anger diminished.

"That may be _arranged_..." Loki purred, scratching under Tony's chin. Damn, he _loved_ that.

"Awesome!" Tony grinned, suppressing the shiver that raced down his spine from the scratch. He laced his fingers with Loki's and led him to the passenger side. After making sure Loki was seated, Tony shut the door and walked around the back of the car.

Tony wasn't sure if he should be thanking Steve for asking him to get the week's groceries or not - he was absolutely certain that the insanely frustrated Norse god in his car was a plus. Loki was _always_ rougher in bed when he was angry, but it always worked out for Tony. He usually ended up being pampered by the god for a few days afterwards when Loki felt he had been too rough (he _never_ was). So _not_ complaining.

If there was a slight bounce in Tony's step as he walked around the car, there would be no way to tell. Tony Stark never admitted to _anything_ - except that he _may_ or _may not_ be volunteering them again for the shopping for next week.


End file.
